Casualties of War

We shall never stop war, whatever machinery we may devise, until we have learned to think always, with a sort of desperate urgency and an utter self-identification, of single human beings.
-Victor Gollancz

MONDAY. For the past year and a half I've been monitoring a website that accepts contest submissions to win a personal guitar lesson with Esteban. My job is collecting and reviewing contest entries, confirming submissions, and preparing them for consideration by contest judges. In January the Grand Prize was awarded to Dustin Gould, a young Marine serving in Iraq, whose contest entry told how Esteban's music and inspiration had carried him through a very difficult time. He was due home in early Spring from his fourth tour in Iraq. I promised him we'd delay his guitar lesson with Esteban until his safe return.

Early this morning, I learned that 28-year-old Dustin was killed last Friday in Al Anbar Province, Iraq, along with Navy Hospitalman Lucas W.A. Emch, 21. Both were scheduled to return to the U.S. this month. Though I'd never met Dustin, we'd exchanged several emails after I notified him that he'd won the contest. He was very excited and wrote that having the opportunity to meet Esteban was "a dream come true." He couldn't wait to get home and have the chance to learn from his idol, and hoped we wouldn't be inconvenienced because he wouldn't be home for several months.

I mourn the loss of another sweet, innocent, brave soul who died supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. I keep asking myself why--half expecting an answer, but knowing at the deepest possible level there simply ARE no answers. Staff Sgt. Dustin Michael Gould, a bomb technician, was killed instantly while handling an explosive device he discovered on the road. He died trying to save his platoon. Over the weekend, his mother told the AP that her son was a kind, gentle man who loved animals and was very generous. She went on to say her son was proud of what he was doing as a Marine, but was "sick of the way things were."

A native of Norman, Oklahoma, Dustin attended high school in Longmont, Colorado, where he enlisted in the Marines ten years ago. Assigned to the 7th Engineer Support Battalion, 1st Marine Logistics Group, 1st Marine Expeditionary Force, Dustin was stationed at Camp Pendleton, California.

Dustin's contest entry reads:

My review is not about winning the contest even though it would be such an honor to thank the person that helped me through the most difficult adjustment in my life through his music. I am a U.S. Marine and my job, in civilian terms would be best described as being on the bomb squad. I have done over 2 deployments, equaling around 18 months in Iraq. I have seen things most could never imagine; or want to. Anyway, this last time I came back around May I was having a hard time adjusting back to our society. The amount of depression and anger I locked inside of me was unbearable. Including the nightmares. On a Saturday mid morning I pulled myself out of bed and turned on the TV. As I flipped through some channels I caught the end of Boogie Woogie on HSN and listened to Esteban talk about this great deal. It was his Limited Signed Edition Midnight Steel Acoustic/Electric guitar with amp, stand, and instructional DVD's. Well I had always wanted to learn to play but I wanted to see how good of a deal it really was. So I got onto the internet and found the Esteban website I heard the two songs that had meaning and poised fire into me. The songs were Fernando and Malaguena. So I got on the phone and ordered the complete guitar package. I have been playing now for a month, and my guitar is never far away. Learning to play has kept my mind occupied but has given me a sense of peace and excitement each time I play. I can only imagine how I will feel when I can play better. The guitar I have, the Midnight Steel, is not only beautiful, but the sound is crisp and immaculate. The instructional DVD's are broken down to the lowest level to where anyone, even with no music background, can play. I strongly recommend everyone to get one of Esteban's guitars and instructional DVD's. Engulf yourself with the passion that is music. And to Esteban from the bottom of my heart. THANK YOU.

Dustin, here are the Esteban songs that inspired you, along with a few others, to carry you on your journey home.

I am one of those people who don't understand war. It makes no sense to me. The hardest thing is realizing that Dustin is one of over 3,100 Americans who have died in Iraq since this pointless war began on March 19, 2003. Every one of them had a story. Every one of them had loved ones whose lives were forever changed. Dying in combat seems the ultimate sacrifice, one that touches all of us. But I'm ashamed to admit I sometimes wrap myself in a veil of forgetfulness, like many others, just so I can function on a daily basis. Eventually reality hits me square in the face, like this morning, and I realize I can no longer hide behind my denial.

As we approach the four year anniversary of the start of the war, may we be mindful of how war ruptures our society, our families, our individual lives. There is no glory in war. May we all live peaceful lives and pray that somehow, sometime, our personal peace will translate to a global level. May this war end soon, so the dying stops. May we all embrace, as Victor Gollancz suggests, an attitude of "desperate urgency and an utter self-identification, of single human beings." Dustin Gould was a single human being, as are all casualties of war. The courageous freedom fighters in Iraq are heroes deserving our greatest respect and support.

A.J. Muste writes, "There is no way to peace. Peace is the way." As you contemplate terrorism, genocide, escalating crime in our cities, and conflict in Iraq and other parts of the world, consider the possibility that peace begins at home--in your family, in your community, but more importantly, in yourself. Find that inner peace. Live peace. Teach peace. Be peace. Who knows what might happen? You've nothing to lose. Expect the miracle of peace. As brothers and sisters in the human family, peace is our birthright.

Dustin leaves a wife of eight years, Elizabeth; his father, David; his mother, Karen; a sister, Bethany White; and his grandparents, Bob and Inez Gould. Dustin's half brother, Army Spc. Jason Corbett, 23, died January 15 of injuries sustained in a firefight in Karmah, Iraq.

Rest in peace, Dustin. Your mission is complete.

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.
-Dwight D. Eisenhower