For Hire

TUESDAY. I'd like to share the weather forecast for Albuquerque, courtesy of Weather Underground:

Wednesday
Breezy. Mostly cloudy with scattered rain and snow showers. Slushy snow accumulation of 1 inch possible...mainly in the foothills.* Cooler. Highs in the 30s to mid 40s. Southwest winds 10 to 20 mph increasing to northwest 15 to 25 mph in the afternoon.

*Carol, I think this means you.

If this November storm is any indication of things to come when winter officially kicks in, I think a snow shovel might be in order. And firewood.

I have yet to understand why unusually harsh, atypical, severe weather follows me around the country. It's not that an inch of slush is severe, but I shudder (and shiver, literally) to imagine what lies ahead in the coming months. Surely Albuquerque winters won't even approach the calamitous climate of the northeast. But I do continue to wonder if, as friends suggest, my frequent relocations usher in bad weather...subzero temps, blizzards, hurricanes, floods, and tornadoes. Would someone please explain this to me?

In the meantime, I await Mayor Chavez's phone call requesting that I leave the city.

Cashing In
For a fee, this harbinger of horrid weather will consider relocating to the city of your choice, if exacting revenge is on your agenda. Surely there's someone you'd like to see suffer the burdens of extreme weather. Just dial 1-800-BAD-WEATHER.