Ramblings From the Desert

This clear, crisp New Year's Day morn, I watch the first hints of daylight overspread the valley as it emerges from a blanket of cold night air like a sleepy bear. The sunrise palette changes continuously as the light struggles to peek over the Sandias, much like I struggle to climb out of bed these past few weeks.

A new day, a new year, but same old me. Resolutions are opportunities for failure, so I won't venture into that den of disappointment. However, my intentions, as I consider the newness of this year, are to live with more kindness.

Kindness is an inner desire that makes us want to do good things, even if we do not get anything in return. When we do good things from this inner desire, there is kindness in everything we think, say, want and do.

-Emmanuel Swedenborg

Before assuming a permanent spot on my typing stand, this quote was unceremoniously displayed on a small square of paper on the fridge, lost in a sea of magnets, things that jingle, shopping lists, coupons, cartoons, and photos. Now that it's on my desk, it serves as a frequent reminder to slow down during days when difficult clients erode my patience.

Whatever happened to kindness?

If there were but one thing that might save the world, perhaps it's kindness. Years ago, when bumper stickers were fixed to actual chrome bumpers that protected our cars from minor impacts, I drove around advertising that we should all "practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty." Though I'm loathe to apply sticky stuff to a phony plastic "bumper" these days (or worse yet, the back of the car), for fear of damaging the incomprehensibly delicate paint, I continue to embrace the notion that kindness is more powerful than anything we can possibly imagine.

No matter how noble my intentions (kindness is one of the Knightly Virtues), kindness is just plain hard in a world where I often feel manipulated by advertisers, betrayed by government, and bamboozled by less-than-honest citizens. These days, is seems my life revolves around survival tactics. When I leave the house, I lock my computers with thick, padlocked bicycle cables and stash my hard drives, laptops, and cameras in a locked cabinet, in case thieves decide our house is full of stuff they want. At one point I even considered buying a safe. While I admit this lockdown ritual may be a by-product of living in the city, I also recognize that city living is far more risky now than it was ten years ago in Boston. Is it possible to think about being kind when I'm constantly assuming a defensive stance?

Stepping away from the realities of securing my home every time I run to the co-op for bread, broccoli and bittersweet chocolate, including telling the dogs to "protect" and bark at strangers (one wonders whether they full understand this mandate), I acknowledge the existence of another reality that eludes me at least half the time. This parallel reality is filled with gentle people who derive pleasure from doing things for others, whose lives are motivated by compassion, who share and pay it forward daily.

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.

-The Dalai Lama

Personally, I find patience and understanding inextricably intertwined with kindness. I also notice that being caught up in a vortex of deadlines and pressure generally renders me downright cantankerous. So in this new year, I hope to find stillness in everyday tasks. I invite the possibility of finding joy in chopping wood and carrying water. (This is a metaphor. I have no intention of wielding an axe or lugging anything heavier than a chocolate bar.) I welcome the opportunity to calm my spirit, work less, and make time to read. I will teach myself patience by standing on the longest line at the market. I'll pay a toll for the car behind me. I'll listen more and be less self-centered.

Lofty ambitions, but maybe I'll move closer to creating a life of random kindnesses this year. When you think about it, it's really not all that difficult. We all practice random kindness from time to time. We just need to practice it more often.

Websites worth checking out:

Help Others
Blossom International
The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation
Kindness.com
Extreme Kindness