Day 24: Why Texas Is Different

THURSDAY. 6:30 PM. We're in East Texas, spending the night in Tyler, the Rose Capital of the Nation. We turned down a great room with no internet and settled instead for a small, funky, mediocre room. This was probably a mistake, but at least we have internet here. It's not that I'm addicted to blogging or email or anything...

WAFFLES, TEXAS STYLE


To my amusement, this morning's Best Western breakfast waffle assumed the shape of the Lone Star State. (For those of you who are curious, I started with Brownsville and saved the Panhandle for last.) Starting the day with a chuckle was a blessing, because 15 miles east of Childress, I discovered I'd left my pillow and surge strip back at the motel. Doubling back, stopping for gas, and retrieving the forgotten items set us back nearly an hour.

Late morning we pulled into a strip mall for a beverage and rest stop in Vernon, TX, birthplace of Roy Orbison and Jack Teagarden. To my astonishment and further amusement, the washroom sink at McDonald's was shaped like Texas. I washed in the Panhandle, lathered in Big Bend, and rinsed in East Texas, which seemed the only logical thing to do. This is not my photo, but here's the sink.


I'm just sorry we didn't spend the night at the Big Texan Motel in Amarillo.


But wait, there's more! How about a nice juicy Texas cheeseburger?


A holiday gift basket for loved ones?


Care to roast some jalapenos Texas-style?


My friend Judy sent me this one. Medium rare or well done?


I Googled "Texas-shaped" this evening and discovered many more, including sunglasses, candles, baking pans, potholders, trivets, clocks, bread, ashtrays, dishes, pottery, fudge, pavers, tortilla chips, lollipops, dog biscuits, nightlights, pillows, picture frames, cookie cutters, and last, but not least, nailheads -- all Texas-shaped. I remain nonplussed by this seeming obsession of Texans with Texas-shaped things. Not that there's anything wrong with it...

Oh yeah, there's one more reason why Texas is different: It takes three weeks to drive across the state...or at least it seems that way.

WORLD'S WORST DRIVERS

I have driven all over the United States. Boston drivers rank among the worst in the nation. Today, however, we discovered the motherlode of bad driving in Dallas. No one uses directional signals and weaving is the favored highway driving technique. Cars cutting in front of us took our breath away more than once. Luckily we lived to tell the tale. Getting through Dallas was hair-raising. Once out of the city, I immediately fell asleep. Fortunately, I was not driving.

So we didn't make it to Shreveport, another 90 or so miles. Tomorrow is another day. We'll get home eventually.

EARWORMS

No, it's not something that crawls inside your ear, lays eggs, and emerges out the other ear, like that old Twilight Zone episode. An earworm is a song or tune that repeats over and over inside a person's head. I have been plagued with earworms for years. Apparently, it's quite normal. According to an ongoing study at the University of Cincinnati, nearly everyone has been mentally tortured at some point in their lives by earworms. The research also indicates that people who get the most earworms tend to listen to music frequently and have neurotic habits, such as biting pencils or tapping fingers. For more information and a list of the top 10 songs that get stuck in people's heads, click here.

Today's earworm was Carole King's "You've Got A Friend." What was your earworm today?

M has just returned with a big bag of greasy BBQ. Time to eat dinner, and then settle into a relaxing evening of finger tapping to the Orlons' 1962 hit, "Wah Watusi," now playing in my head.